The Ladder

I had a very interesting insight into the workings of God this morning.

The past two weeks have been particularly difficult, not only prior to my healing from macular degeneration, but with some unexpected challenges. A few nights ago, my friend Jane Anne (who some of you are getting to know through reading this blog!) was praying. After asking God for wisdom, she distinctly heard Him say, "Intercede for thy sister." (Although she and I have different parents, we are very close and feel we are spiritually related through the blood of Jesus. Like sisters, we have a lot of fun together and call each other "Sisti." :)

Anyway, Jane Anne went on her face before the Lord, asked Him to forgive her for anything that would separate her from Him and asked that He would open the portals of Heaven to her, as is her custom. Then she simply waited to hear Him speak a word pertaining to her Sisti. Amid all the human thoughts that went through her mind, the voice of the Lord eventually sounded unmistakably. He said, "Open" and then "the ladder."

Jane Anne remembered the story of Jacob and how he had a dream one night, where a ladder came down from heaven and angels ascended and descended upon it. She then prayed that God would open the ladder for me.

Without understanding why, I have been very happy for the past few days - even bubbly - in sharp contrast to the depression that has been trying to overtake me.

A few weeks prior to this, JA and her mom and I had gone to a Jewish synagogue in observance of the Day of Atonement. (I have begun to have a deeper desire to understand the Jewish roots of Christianity in order to understand my faith more deeply.) There we were greeted by a woman by the name of Joan who, in later conversation with JA, told her about the importance of the Body of Christ reading portions of the Torah in the same period of time, so that God can address particular issues in peoples lives at the same time. It was very interesting. Joan then directed her to www.torahportions.org, whereupon JA went to the site when she got home and printed out the prescribed Torah portions for us. (I encourage you to go to the site and print them out for your own use.)

Interestingly, Elaine Zimora, who connected with me re my legacy work, has been speaking to me regarding the importance of the Torah portions. I had never heard of this prior to these two introductions.

Today, I decided to begin the Torah readings for the first time. There was a reading from Genesis, one from the Prophets and another from the New Testament. As I began to read the Genesis portion in Chapter 28, I was stunned to read, "And Jacob went out from Beersheba and went toward Haran. And he lighted upon a certain place and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place and put them for his pillows and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed and behold a ladder set up on the earth and the top of it reached to heaven and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it..."

With all the places in the Bible I could have read today - what are the chances...? Have my happy feelings been the result of angels running up and down the ladder, ministering to me? What a delightful thought. It is so important to pray for each other!! God hears us - by design!

P.S. After reading this blog, JA called me and said Gid had had a further word for me. It was, "Hold tight to the rungs!" That's a word that important for all of us. Our journey through this life to the next is lived just one rung at a time, but we must hold tight to the Sure Support. :)

Not Going Blind After All!!!

A week and a half ago, I went to the eye doctor with grave concerns that I was losing vision in my right eye - and was diagnosed with macular degeneration! It was a devastating blow, particularly as a graphic designer / writer who is so dependent on my eyes for my livelihood. With memories of watching my mother-in-law go blind quite quickly after the same diagnosis, I felt as though my world had suddenly jolted to a stop. I would have no further opportunity to contribute to the world. I could become a burden to my family. Independence and driving would be a thing of the past. I would have no further opportunity to travel and see all the things I've waited a lifetime to see.

The week and a half following the diagnosis until the appointment with the specialist who would determine if it were the "wet" or "dry" variety, was an exhausting teeter-totter of faith versus fear - one day totally trusting in God to lead according to His perfect will and the next day listening to voices of doubt, despair and imaginings into the dark unknown.

Many people prayed that I would be given a new retina - that I would not indeed go blind.

Today I went to the specialist. He examined me with the latest technology available in the field - and could find absolutely no macular degeneration! Pointing to slides showing detailed cross section images of my eyes, he demonstrated the perfect health of my eyes! To top it off, he said, "You will have good vision for the rest of your life!" Now I have to ask you - what doctor ever says something like that? I felt that he was speaking the very promise of God Himself. The words were prophetic!

Anyway, I went flying out of the examination room to the waiting room to tell my friend, Jane-Anne (who had driven me) the wonderful news. "Jane-Anne - I don't have any mascular degeneration! My eye is totally healthy," I exclaimed. She jumped up, hugged me and joined me in a little happy dance right there in the waiting room.

"You've been healed!" she said. Meanwhile, two men, an aging father and a middle-aged son sat wondering what on earth was going on. "My friend has been healed!"Jane -Anne exclaimed again. "She had macular degeneration and now it's gone!"

The younger man said, "That's what my dad has."

"Do you want us to pray with you?" JA asked. "God can heal you, too!" Both men agreed and, right there in the waiting room, we prayed for the man's healing. We then began to tell them about other wonderful things we had seen Jesus do and how much He loves each of us. They were very open and receptive - just waiting for hope - and we had it to give.

It's possible that this whole exercise - the whole macular degeneration thing - could have been orchestrated by God to touch the lives of these precious men  and demonstrate His reality and love for them. Incredible! :)

Tonite, everything has changed. Instead of my life being short circuited, it has opened up with fresh opportunities to serve Jesus in whatever way He leads me. I am ashamed that I didn't trust Him more through out the ordeal. I'm so grateful that His plan for my life did not include blindness. Who knows what lies ahead?? What an adventure this life is, when walked with God of grace and mercy!

Stand Fast!

I seem to always be talking about money on this blog - but that's the area where God seems to be teaching me to trust Him most in these last few years. I know that many of you probably wonder why I'm always stretched for cash, but it's simply because I'm still in the process of getting back on my feet after losing everything.

Today, once again, God proved His faithfulness. My car insurance was due and life insurance comes tomorrow. I was short about $230.00. Payment for the magazine I'm doing won't be here for a couple of weeks, but I hoped that a cheque from the States would be here in time.

I spent the morning with the Lord, learning of His ways and reminding Him of the bills due today and tomorrow. At noon, I went to the mailbox – but no cheque. So, I came home wondering, "What now Lord?"

As I prepared lunch, Lola (my cockapoo) made it evident that she was hungry too. As I opened the refrigerator to get her food, she lay down on the floor, confident that her needs were about to be met. It occurred to me that the Lord was using her as an example of how I could face my needs. I am His child. He is my Father and He knows what I need. I can relax in the assurance that He's looking after me.

My worry turned to peace as I felt directed to simply go to my computer and work as though all were well. A scripture from 2 Chronicles 20:17 rolled through my mind: "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions(s); stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you." I believed I had positioned myself (as well as I knew how) according to God's principles for participation in His Kingdom economy. I had tithed, happily given offerings where needed and blessed them for use in His Kingdom. Therefore, I was expecting Him to intervene in some way – I just didn't know how He'd do it.

About 2 o'clock, the phone rang. It was an old friend whom I hadn't seen for some time, saying that he had been prompted by the Holy Spirit to call and wanted to know what was happening. Because of the apparent connection, I told him. He asked for my banking information and said to check my account in about an hour.

Long story short, my insurance is paid. Thank you Lord. Another miracle of your gentle grace and kindness - by design.

Learning about Faith

This is amazing!

Let me go back a bit. Six years ago, through a family trauma, I was left (at the age of 60) with nothing but my furniture, my computer and my position as a child of God. I knew no one would hire me at my age and so I went back to school and, one year to the day after the trauma, I registered a little graphic design company called byDesign Media – because I knew God had a plan, a design for my life.

During that six years, He has been faithful to supply everything I needed – but the debt I incurred getting back on my feet has remained and I always seem to be cash poor. I have known there was something wrong - something missing in my understanding of God's principles because debt is not glorifying to Him and being cash strapped prevents me from doing a lot of things that would bless people.

Last week, I had to borrow $60.00 from my sister to put out a fire at the bank. It was humiliating, depressing and made no sense to me because I tithe and try to do things to honour God. I couldn't understand why, with my portfolio, my experience and all the things I had produced, I couldn't seem to enter into the blessing He promised.

I went for prayer counseling to see if there might be curses on my life that hindered the release of God's supply. When I arrived home after the prayer, there was a message from a Christian magazine asking if I would do the layout and design for this month as their designer is unable to do it this month. I was thrilled, and certainly saw it as an answer to prayer, but the fact remained that I had only five dollars to last me until the end of the month - and there was a lot of month between now and then. I had no fresh fruit left in the frig and my food supply was dwindling. Several friends offered to loan me money, but I was determined not to borrow another cent because it doesn't solve the big problem - just increases the debt issue.

Last night I read a book by Gary Kersee called, "Fix the Money Thing," in which He explains some little known secrets of the Kingdom of God. He wrote about Jesus' teaching of Kingdom laws (just like the natural laws of gravity, etc.) that mirror the same kind of cause and effect. When the five thousand needed to be fed on the hillside, Jesus didn't just make food appear; He said, "Bring Me what you have." When the disciples brought the five loaves and two fishes, He blessed then and instructed them to feed the people. After what they had brought to HIm had been multiplied to feed all the people, Jesus instructed them to pick up the "fragments." They gathered 12 basketsful of left overs.

It occurred to me today that I needed to pay more attention to the "fragments" in my life and give Jesus what I had (my five dollars), bless it and ask Him to release provision from Heaven. I heard about a situation where a lady was in need and so I asked my friend Peter to give her the five dollars. Long story short, he had brought a huge lot of fresh produce from his garden for me and, on the spot, gave me $400. towards some design work he wants me to do. Wow. God is good. Tonight, my refrigerator is full and I am so excited about what I'm learning.

We need to release what we have to God, bless it for His use and know we can never outgive Him.

On the way home, I went into the grocery store. A young Iranian girl  was sitting at a little table taking her break. I smiled at her and she said, "Oh I love your scharf! (my favourite one) – I wish I had a scharf like that to wrap around my neck because it's so cold in here. Hardly thinking twice, I took off the scharf, gave it to her and said, "Tell you what – take my scharf and every time you look at it or wear it, remember how much Jesus loves you." She was shocked.

Later, I saw her at her post - one of those little tables where people pass out samples, etc. – and there whe was, wearing my scharf. She said, "I really want to thank you. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me in my whole life. It's good to see that there are still some nice people in this world." With that, she came out from behind her little desk and gave me a big hug - right in the middle of Zehrs! I asked her if she knew Jesus and then the door opened wide for me to tell her about Him and how much He loves her.

Ah - what an exciting life! Miracles - by design!

Making Things Right

Today was Yom Kippur - the Day of Atonement. I haven't celebrated the Jewish feasts through the years, thinking that it's not necessary under the New Covenant. However, I've been thinking about it and the fact that they were to be a "lasting ordinance" and the possibility that observance of the feasts could bring a new depth to my understanding of God's plan.

Anyway, despite my desire to get some work done, I took the day off and did some reading about atonement and getting things right with God and man. So - remembering a relationship that was shattered many years ago, I called the person and asked if we could get together. Long story short, I extended forgiveness and requested the same of them. Before I left, my negative feelings had morphed into a genuine love! We hugged and expressed a desire to keep in touch. Wow! Amazing!

The transformation of an enemy into a friend is a miracle indeed!

When the Miracle Doesn't Happen

Today my friends and I prayed for a miracle - and it didn't come.
The daughter of one of our friends, a gorgeous, 23 year old college student who was recently named athlete of the year, was getting in some end-of-summer water-skiing and landed wrong. Despite our prayers, she died of a head injury.
From our perspective, there was no miracle - only horror.
But does there always have to be a miracle? Maybe we should try to see things from God's perspective.
What is he doing in the lives of the rest of the family? In the lives of her friends? What is His plan? We can't know - yet.
God is not a magician, waiting for our cues to pull rabbits out of hats; He is GOD - and He knows what He's doing.
All I know is that I am so grateful that Jackey knew and loved Jesus and is with Him now - safe and waiting for the day she will be reunited with her mom and dad and sister.
Until then... we have to rest in the miracle that transformed her into a believer - because out of that, we have the miracle of hope.

Tongue Untied!

I've been making a lot of phone calls to school boards, retirement homes, seniors' centers, etc. to let them know about "My Legacy Links," www.mylegacylinks.com, a project I've developed to connect teens and seniors. The idea is that teens who need to complete 40 hours of community service volunteer requirements, pair up with seniors to help them record their wisdom, values, insights and experiences in a "My Life Legacy" workbook. If the senior doesn't have any computer skills, but is interested in learning how to do e-mail etc, the teen can assist him or her.

The project has been approved by the Durham Bd. od Ed. and I had a call in to the Catholic Bd., but had not yet connected with them.

This morning, I had barely awakened when the phone rang and a woman said she was returning my call. I recognized the name, but couldn't place it in the long list of people I had been contacting. You have to understand that in the morning, my tongue just doesn't work right. I'm not a morning person and it takes a good cup of coffee and abaout a half hour of wake-up time before I can talk straight.

When I realized it was the Catholic School Board lady, I just sent a quick prayer up and said, "Oh God, pleeeeze  help me to talk straight!"

I am still amazed! I was totally clear and articulate - explained the entire project, with background, purpose etc., with nary an "um!" The woman was very interested and requested a meeting for Wednesday. Wow! Thank you Lord! :)