Yay!!! June 7th is only four days away! Just four more sleeps until I see the mercy and grace of God once more.
The past four years have been such an incredible time of learning to trust God. When I sold our home, after all of the legal expenses were paid and I extricated myself from the mess, there was nothing left to start life over again. Time after time, God stepped in with a miracle and provided.
One time, while I was still packing the house, I was upset because it was my son's birthday. Our tradition was to have everyone home for a nice birthday celebration, complete with candles and homemade chocolate cake. It was always a big deal and I loved having my precious family all gathered together. Because of the horrible events that shattered our family that year, none of my kids would come home. It was too painful for them. I thought if only I could take them out to a restaurant, we could at least be together. However, I couldn't afford it. I had no money. I had had to close our business down and there was not only no income, but I had great expenses. The closer it came to the birthday (which was the following Tuesday), the more troubled I became. What would I do? Then God stepped in. On Friday, an old family friend arrived (with no knowledge of the impending b-day) and said that God had spoken to him to give me $500.00. At first I protested, saying that he couldn't possibly give me such a gift! But then he said that I had to take it because God had instructed him, but that there was a condition - that being that I take my family out for dinner! I'm sure my jaw must have dropped because I was dumbfounded.
"Did you know Tim's birthday was coming?" I asked.
"No," he said, "but maybe that's why God sent me here!"
Another time, I was down to my last few cents, with no idea where the next dollar would come from. By this time, I was living in the apartment where I have lived for the past four years. It was a Sunday morning and I was in church. When the minister asked the ushers to receive the offering, I took an envelope and put every cent I had into the envelope. Then I took the Canadian Tire money from my wallet and put that in, too. I figured that if I was going to have this little money, I might as well give it all away and have none. I didn't put my name on the envelope because I didn't want anyone to know that I was the one who gave such a meager offering and added Canadian Tire money. The next day, I was up on the hill walking my dog and I said, "You know Lord, I really need some money. You said that you're my husband now and I need you to look after me!" (At the time, I was still in school learning my new graphic design trade.) As I walked back towards the apartment, I decided to get the mail. There was a cheque from Gordon Williams for $5,000. - a deposit on his next book which I didn't realize was coming at that time. Another envelope contained a GST return of over $200.00. i could hardly believe my eyes. Once again, I was flooded with gratitude for the faithfulness of God.
I could go on and on telling about the miracles of the last four years. I wish so much that I had journaled faithfully because I've forgotten so many. Experiencing the grace of God has been a way of life for me.
It's not that I have sat by and lazily waited for God to drop golden coins from Heaven. In actual fact, I've never worked so hard in my life as I have over these years. Many, many, many nights I've worked all night long and watched the dawn bring the day from where I sat behind my computer. Sometimes I would think about the people who were able to sleep regular hours and have little pity parties for myself – but then I would finish a project for a client and be so happy to be able to have created something that would help them with their work and, at the same time, generate some income for myself. Never, in all the years of my marriage, had I been responsible for the income of the home. I had made some money on the odd book or whatever, but had not been soley responsible for survival. This has been a new experience and I am so grateful for the opportunities I have been given.
'Nuff said for today.
When my friend, Jane-Anne, was praying for me today, the Lord told her, "The latch has been given." Very interesting. We'll see what happens Wednesday!!
To tell you the truth, I am going to be so glad when Wednesday midnight comes because, despite the fact that I trust God to take me through, this has been somewhat stressful. I am "waiting to exhale."
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