Saturday, July 17, 2010

The Miracle of Death

People talk all the time about the "miracle of life." It is very fresh in my heart with the arrival of Noah, my newest grandson, in March. There is no disputing the miracle of ten perfect little toes and ears that unfold like petals.

But how about the miracle of ten gnarled toes and ears that no longer hear as easily as they once did - when they leave this world?

My mom and I were very close. On the night she died at the age of 96, I was stroking her hair, lying on the bed beside her, singing an old hymn that I hadn't heard for years, "Shall We Gather at the River." I was surprised when Mom said, "Oh, I wish we could just jump across!"

"You mean jump across the river Mom?" I asked.

She said yes. I know that Mom had hung on to life because she knew I still needed her. My life and marriage were not happy. I tried to be everything for everybody and cherished Mom as my refuge from the world - the embodiment of everything fine, everything that made sense in the world, everything that understood and really loved me. But I knew it was time to let her go.

"Mom, would you like me to pray and ask Jesus to take you home to heaven?" I knew the words could no longer be delayed. Mom said yes.

As I prayed, Mom suddenly said, "Victor!" with surprise and great delight. And again, "Victor!"

I was puzzled and asked, "Mom - are you seeing Uncle Victor?"

Her words were weak, but filled with joy. "Yes!" She gently slipped away with the brother she loved and was gone within just a few short moments.

I sat beside her, my precious mom, feeling no sense of loss whatsoever. It was as though she had simply gone into another room and I would see her later. I wondered what I should do now. It occurred to me that I had not done her nails that day. I had meant to give her a manicure, but it simply had not happened. So - I got the nail file and polish and sat there and did her nails as though it was the most natural thing in the world. Then, I called the nurse to pronounce and the funeral home to remove her body.

When the nurse arrived, she asked if my mom had been a Christian. I assured her that she had, but inquired why she asked.

"Because she has such a peaceful expression.," she said. "I see a lot of people at the time of death and almost invariably, the Christians have that same peaceful expression, while it's much different with non-believers."

After everyone left, I went up to my bedroom. It was two a.m. and I felt at loose ends. I wondered what people do when they've just lost someone so precious to them. I clicked on my TV and Nite Lite was just starting. The topic (no kidding) was "What do you do when you've just lost someone you love?" I couldn't believe it! I had hosted that program for seven years, and so called in to tell the screener (who was a friend of mine) how incredibly timely the topic was for me. I told him about Uncle Victor coming to meet Mom and the nurse's comment about the peaceful expression Christians have in death. He insisted that I go on air and tell the story and so there I was, at 2 a.m., telling the whole nation (or anyone who was up and tuned in) about my mom and the miracle of her death.

Despite the fact that I've missed Mom, I've never grieved for her. I'll see her again - and what a joyful miracle that will be!!!!

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