Looks like we're going right down to the wire. Just two more sleeps (if I ever get to bed tonite!) before either a miracle happens or the curtain closes on this opportunity to own my own home once again.
One of my greatest concerns in all of this is that if I heard wrong and God has no intention of providing the miracle that would be necessary to turn the dream into a reality, curious skeptics who have been dropping by will say, "Ya - we knew there wouldn't be a miracle. How dumb can anyone be to think $40,000. is going to drop out of the sky? This just proves that God stuff isn't real."
If I thought that my unrealized hopes for a miracle were to drive anyone further away from God, it would be terrible.
Tonite I went to Wal-Mart to pick up some plastic packing totes (they're on for $5.00 ea.!!). When I was going through the check-out, the cashier commented on my bracelet, saying how beautiful it was. I took it off and gave it to her saying, "Here - I want you to have it as a reminder of how much Jesus loves you." She was flabbergasted and said, "Oh no, I can't possibly take it - and no - Jesus doesn't love me. I stopped believing that a long time ago."
"Yes, He does," I insisted. "His love in me is reaching out to you."
The look she gave me was that of a child, slowly, quietly sinking in quicksand, hardly daring to hope that someone would come and save her.
"Here, please, take it." I held it out to her.
"I can't," she said. "It's store policy. We can't take gifts from customers – but I want you to come back and see me. My name is Lynn." She pointed to her name tag. As much as she claimed not to believe, she desperately wanted to. I could see it in her eyes.
Another customer was ready to check out and, not wanting to interfere with her work, I nodded, smiled and promised to return.
Everyone needs to know how much Jesus loves us. If I could pull God's strings and have Him work a miracle for me just so that a skeptic reading this would believe, I would, because a relationship with Jesus is what life is all about. Inside every one of us is a God-shaped hole that can't be filled with anything else. People try to stuff it with sports, work, relationships, materialism - whatever - but nothing fits except God and so we live with a gnawing emptiness inside - a sense that something is missing - until we allow God in to fill us up with Himself. That's the only thing that brings real peace.
So – if a miracle doesn't happen in my life this time, the only thing it will prove is that I heard wrong and I should have just tried harder to find an apartment.
However – let's not throw in the towel yet - not until midnight on Wednesday! :)
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