OK - So now it's 50 days before I have to move – with no definite place to go. Just to bring newcomers up to speed, my landlord is getting married and inheriting four new heirs and so needs my space for making new bedrooms. There is very little to rent in this area and whatever there is is either too small or too pricey. Nobody wants pets – and of course I'm going nowhere without my little Lolapalooza!
I've now opened the door to the possibility of becoming a homeowner again – despite the fact that (having had to start life all over again) I do not have a down payment. However, in my business, things can change in a heartbeat with a couple of good book contracts – or in whatever way God wants to look after me. With that in mind, I've found a house and am now just awaiting the miracle that will allow me to purchase it!
Meanwhile, I'm not sitting on my thumbs. I'm still looking at possible rentals. Yesterday's possibility of a farmhouse is a wash. It won't be ready until the end of August (I have to be out by the 29th of July) and they don't want pets. A farmhouse would have been much too expensive to heat anyway and I'm sure there would have been a lot of grass to cut and snow to shovel. The little house I've found to buy, on the other hand, is just seven years old, maintenance free and on a small lot.
On Sunday, my pastor (Doug Schneider) taught us all a new word: "Limenality." A "limen" is a threshold. Limenality refers to the ability to step over a threshold, to go beyond normal boundaries. The state of limenality suggests a feeling of lostness and instability where one has a sense of losing one's identity. It's an in-between state, a place of uncertainty, a place of ambiguity.
I think my pastor has been reading my mail!
He referred us to 2nd Corinthians which speaks of going "from glory to glory" with that "to" being an indicator of a time of disorientation. It's in that time – between glorys – where God teaches us things. There is no way to progress or experience promotion in life without passing through a state of limenality where the disciplining hand of God leads us.
So - here I am in the land of linenality! Yahoo! At least now I have the security of knowing that my insecurity has a label; it is serving a purpose and there is an end in sight! This is just a rite of passage for promotion!
After Peter's denial of Jesus, he entered into a state of limenality. He was neither here nor there – neither a declared supporter of the Messiah nor (what he used to be) a humble fisherman. Without Jesus and feeling like a total failure after loosing his identity as a disciple, he tried to go back to fishing – but couldn't even do that anymore. It wasn't until Jesus came along and gave him new direction that he was once more able to experience success. When Peter was obedient to Christ and threw his net on the other side of the boat (something he hadn't orchestrated), he discovered something new and different!
When one is in a state of limenality, a state of waiting to step over a new threshhold, there is no guarantee of success, no guarantee that one can reach the next place of security – but neither can one go back.
Peter couldn't go back to fishing the same way he had always done and I can't go back to a sense of security where I am. I have to move ahead and I don't know where. Peter's limenality took him from the work of ministering to the Jews on to the work of ministering to both Jews and Gentiles. His territory was expanded as he worked with Jesus to step over the new threshhold.
So – Jesus – here I am in this state of limenality. Please lead me on. We have only 50 days max!
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